Okay, so I want to write out a quick little journal entry about ALL THE THOUGHTS and such I'm having and because I've thought written this about twice already, I might as well get it down as quick as can be so it's done, out there, and ta-da, I shall be released to take care of other matters instead
So, hello! Here I am! *flings arms out and about*
Also, random note/question, do you ever "act out" your emoticon/"*action*" in real life? 'Cause I swear, I do it like ALL the time. Imma be sitting here writing this journal, and be mouthing my words, flinging my arms about when I say I do, making attempted emoticon faces with MY face and all that jazz. ..Maybe I just don't go out enough, though? XD
Also, reminds me: I shamelessly jam to Eminem wherever I am. If I am listening to some Eminem songs, you can best believe I'll be jamming to them! I feel as though I can own such a proclamation ever since this gentleman questioned me on my jamming on the train last semester.
It happened. But I was sadly no musician. XD
Anywho, not my points to be made! Um, um, ummmm, I have lots of fancy things to say but just don't know how or when or where to say them. So, let's start with as much of right now as we can, shall we? (By the way, my absorption of many Thor/Avengers fanfiction and multiple happenings of rewatching movies and just Marvel cinematic universe in general (what was my point in this...?) oh right, just means that I keep seriously making or wanting to make references like, le-everywhere. What on Midgard will I possibly do? GAH!
) Back to actual Earth though.
Well, one thing's first, I have worksy work today. Which is something that the more it dawns on me the more nervous I am getting, eek! I work tonight from 6 to close (which is 10p) and it's also been dawning on me how much the whole "Labor Day weekend/holiday weekend" thing miiiiiight just affect the whole influx of customers at work thing O_O Which is terrifying. But not like INSANE, really. Thus, let me discuss work now.
Work is pretty good! I do like it, even enjoy it, even sometimes love it (it's been a slight while on this end though) I've madeeeee uhhhh I believe it was (although my pay check from last week I've yet to have since I'll be getting it tonight although I only worked once last week so it's going to be quite smmmmaallll) $319.20 since I've started working, which from training was July 28th. I've ALSO made $82.57 in TIPS. Which is fun!
Work itself, well, I'm working at a nearby ice cream place, which I'm thinking if I want to mention specific orders 1. I'm not sure if I can (meh, potential legality or whatever) and 2. Locational potential issues. Possibly. Maybe... I don't know, maybe paranoid? Slightly. But, I'm with ice cream a lot. Lots of different ice cream.
And again work is.... good. I've been there I suppose, yes, a good month now. One month down! I'm still not very good at stuff though. Which I've been told is a part of the whole workforce sort of thing, that you'd have to learn via any job and you're not going to be uberly fantastic at it from the get-go. But, well, even so, while that is comforting to know and be told, I still feel inadequate most Pist centered days. And quite nervous. And scared. And oh god. I think I especially feel this way when I think about it because I don't know if I'm exactly the best sort of employee =/ Which isn't good!! But, again, that may be my own painfully negative (Pist) outlook.
What makes me uneasy, especially within the last few times I've been to work, has been how I keep managing to fuck up orders. Not so much the orders themselves (although *cough* that's happened, either my scoop "skirts" being rather skirtless or my amounts of ice cream questionable for the actual size of the cup or my lack of quick and speedy speedy speedy er, quickness) but more so, I mean, the TAKING of the order. 'Cause, I mean, a couple times there, they've certainly paid for something, it just, er, wasn't what I actually made them.
Which, again, is rather terrifying, to admit more so. But I just, gah, I don't know what to doooo, you know? I think I will question about it tonight, and it's not at all that my co-workers wouldn't help me or anything, just sometimes you get SO busy that there really isn't time to be uncertain. You make and you GO! Which *shudders* makes me wonder how tonight will be.... I swear, awkwardness when you're still on one order when the ones around you have gone through like 3 batches of people already (although it depends on how many things you're busting out of course, too!) Sigh.
Maybe the next month will be better. I think also a lot of it has to do with how much more work on my own I need to be making for remembering orders and when to fill X up to Y line or put this much ice cream in Z while this G has only J ice while D has E ice. Just, stuff like that. We all fuck up sometimes, it's just best not to make it too much of a habit or at least not something one sets out to accomplish! I'll be more careful with my finger plucking. I think I might be using the term "cancel" where I should be using "return" although I can't recall if there IS a return button. I would say, sometimes I have made or incorrectly charged (often, less than, not more) for the order and then been too guilt consumed making it (because again, how does one fix that when it's already been money exchanged oh nuuu) or just brushed it off or just realized far LATER that it was incorrect that agh, I don't know. Jobs man, jobs...
The worst, I think, is when you plop in the order for say a regular ice cream and then they change their minds or they keep going with the thought to add a topping, which then you have to CHANGE it 'cause toppings aren't on dishes, only sundaes. Even if they aren't getting the rest of the sundae toppings, anything with a topping is a sundae.... *shudders* So scared. Terrified. Nyeh.
Sooooo let's stop talking about work! *shudders* GAH! Also though, it really isn't all THAT bad. I just still struggle more so with DOUBT than knowing what I'm doing or if I don't know what I'm doing. When work gets a lot of people (it's certainly overwhelming walking INTO it) but it's good because too much down time means too much thinking and or ruminating on your Pistliness which isn't helpful so the whole chaos just means you go, go, go, and get it done. And then, phew, go sip on a drink and just clean up the bits and pieces of messes. And then talk with co-workers about a whole host of things, eeheheh. So, yeah. Work.
Also, weirdest/funny universe thing about when you finally get a job (and you hadn't had luck prior), you tend to get other callbacks eventually - I can't even recall how many times I've gotten CVS or Walmart to call me about their seeking of positions now (and how I totes don't know how to handle that conversation, eek) But yeah, silly indeed.
But okay, totally like an extra topic I went into, there.
So, um, next Tuesday I start school. That....is craziness. Utter, complete craziness.
Allllso, next Wednesday, is my birthday? Like, what, what, when - how - oh gerd!?
Alsoooooo, I, after my mom was all giggling knowing something and kept asking if I wanted to open a present early, and I did guess correctly, I did in fact open one of my presents today
SO, GUESS WHO HAS A WORKING CAMERA AGAIN??? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
GOD IT'S AMAZING! THE SWEET, SWEET GLORIOUS SOUND OF A FOCUSING LENS! IT CAN FOCUS WHOOOO
But really though, like, the sweetest, most glorious sound. I forgot what it was supposed to sound like (also it sounds different) So, I got a new 55mm lens (which is what I'm talking about) and I do think it is making a different focusing sound since it's maybe even just a smidge different of a lens (my other one only said "Image stabilizer" while this one says "Canon") ALSO it has a fancy dandy lens cap! Muchly an upgrade from what my previous lens caps XD
But maybe it's not all that different? Ah well, a lens is a lens and a working, good lens is muchly, muchly loved. And appreciated. Also, it smelled new. Hehe!
But yeah, the best way to describe having it (beyond opening it, smelling it, putting it in and such) is when it truly came to practice using it and then actually using it in a small photoshoot and just, the word that does describe it is: Liberation.
I'm SO happy and feel so free again and that I can do ALL of the photography or at least try to.
It's really, really great.
My mom also got me some other new things too! Like cleaning stuff: an air blower, a cleaning pen, a cloth AND filters (UV filter, polarizing and fluorescent) and a 58mm lens hood annnnnd oh this nice little baggie for a lens.
So that's cool!
Essentially, a fixed camera makes me want to do "liberation" themed photos but the fact that I need a shower and to go to work today means it probably won't be today that I do that.
Did I tell you guys I have 3 masquerade masks now? They're quite pretty. =] I have to get used to wearing them or what sort of themes to do with them (I think they might even be too pretty for my face lmao) but it's pretty darn nice. The possibilities...they are endless.
And for school? Well, I'll just have to discuss such a topic later on with you guys. I think now's a good time to end this journal, eventually hop in the shower, otherwise get ready for work and oh yeah, eattttt, eat lots of things too.
Hopefully work will be nice tonight!
Also, it better not be an amazing sunset too! XD Luckily I can't see out the window far enough to notice ahahha
Anywho, I'll be back soon.
And, tomorrow night my mom and I are going out to a comedy show to see Bill Cosby.
I may also be going to a barbeque but I'd kind of rather not, I don't know, there are some other things I'd like to work on instead, but I'll have to see later on about that....
Until the next journal!
*leaps off the Bifrost*