This Crisis Will Pass

So, I'm not sure if I'm being a total dickhead for sticking this into 'Conceptual' photography but maybe I'll change that later... ( read as: Probably not. )

Anywho, I am uploading this piece as I feel a flurry of emotions and inspiration - being able to BEGIN to share with you guys beyond just journals what I've been up to lately and finally connecting my phone to my laptop so I can be aided in this even further (since I have some fancy photos and stuff on my phone!) and making words form on the screen as I reenter my voice into this pool of DA. Again. I still need more work but it's a start.

Onto the image though! I joined the two photos together online, and my apologies for the blur on the right one - I have not mastered left handed phone photographs yet XD

As for the story behind this one... I first heard the phrase spoken to me when I was in therapy at my university's counseling center last fall semester. It stuck with me, clearly, and I've always found it as a phrase that encouraged safety in terms of refraining, as much as the circumstance allows, from using negative coping skills (i.e. self harm, acting on suicidal ideation). It's a phrase I've been using often online as well, mentioning it in journals and descriptions and such.

I had used writing on my skin (eventually I shall draw  !!) as a coping mechanism before - in December I believe I wrote like a short poem of mainly two word phrases on my right leg. And actually, now that I recall, the first time I tried it I just made lines from black pens on my skin to eventually distract me from my intrusive OCD thoughts regarding self harm and I also made an octagon like thing before too. I used this a couple of times in January or February this year as well. But this particular phrase I began the day I took this photo!

And wonderfully so, I have continued to rewrite the phrase (when it fades) on my wrists ever since.
Seeing this message on my skin has aided immensely in my re-commitment to recovery. There have been a lot of times where the tangled mesh of OCD and depression have tempted me with acting on my thoughts - and when I've gazed at this phrase - I've chosen instead to cope positively. It's helped me when I first wrote it, and it's helped me even today. It reminds me of what I care about, what I want to do, and it helped me to also show myself more compassion, self love and self kindness rather than creating physical pain over emotional pain.

It's been 7 weeks since I last self harmed. Today I got closer to relapsing but I wound up coping through it (with an image I in particular want to share with you guys... although possibly not tonight).

I think that's about it!


[[Taken March 22.2015]]
Fun fact: This was almost one week after my second hospitalization, so yay to beginning to cope!

BONUS: That wasn't bad for my left hand's handwriting huh?